Personal Growth is Important During Transition
Once the separated family structure is established and all parties begin to adjust to the routine of their new lives, there is more time to focus on the “art” of parenting. This includes being the father that you want to be and more effectively focusing on your children’s interest and welfare, enjoying your time with them as well as guiding, teaching and helping them.
Adjusting to life as a single father can be a very lonely experience. You no longer are part of the family structure that existed for months, years or decades. You are now balancing the additional role of having to care for your son or daughter in addition to all of your other responsibilities in life.
You have to make sacrifices. If you are committed to your children, there is no question that you will have to reduce or eliminate other activities that you were involved with. It is best to face that early on.
There may be limited supports available within your own community, but there are a lot of places you can go online that can provide information and some sense of shared experiences. Some sites and pages to consider:
“All Pro Dad is on a mission to help you love and lead your family well. Be a hero to your kids.” Former NFL player and head coach Tony Dungy played a big role in promoting the startup of All Pro Dad. They do really awesome daily e-mails that are very positive and topical (you can adjust them as a single or married father) – you should consider signing up for them. (website)
I CAN DADS Coaching is a program designed to support fathers with their responsibilities in raising their children. The program covers eight segments in an interactive small group environment. Topics covered are the legacy you received and the legacy you want to pass on, character, emotions (anger, shame, guilt), I-nvolvement, C-onsistency, A-wareness, N-urturing, maturity, communications and more. We help fathers understand their role and the impact it has on their children.
This site is sponsored by Cordell & Cordell, a domestic litigation firm with offices throughout the country. Obviously, they hope to draw business to the firm. But this is a very well designed and operated site with lots of new material, including professionally produced videos, and relays everything in a positive tone. LOTS of quality information here. Ex. “Let it go; Carrying the Right Attitude Through Divorce. (website)
Great words of wisdom from Matt Haviland, a single father who experienced single parenthood as child himself. His organization looks to impact the lives of children by encouraging and equipping single fathers to be intentional leaders in their own lives and in the lives of their children. (website)
The Good Men Project “explores the world of manhood that reflects the multidimensionality of men.” The site generates a lot of new content that delves into all aspects of manhood, and you can sing up for daily e-mails. Ex. “Eight Tips for Becoming a Successful Single Dad.” (website)