Question To Answer
What does it look like now?
When parents are able to establish a working partnership that results in routine without conflict they and the children begin to experience relief, are able to heal and start to evolve. It is vital that mom and dad are able to communicate in a reasonable way, be flexible and gracious toward one another so that their children can move forward.
Free from the burden of a contentious relationship with the other parent, mom and dad can figure out what their new life will become and create new, more fulfilling relationships. And along with that reaffirm their bonds with their children and fully focus on the art of parenting.
This is important because while mom and dad have to forge new lives separate from one another, the children have to adapt to their new life in a separated family. Not only do they have to live and sleep in two different places, but they have to figure out how to balance their attention between their parents and most often figure out how to accept their new partners into their world. All while figuring out life like any other child.
It is a lot, and again highlights how crucial it is that their natural parents are able to work together amicably. Even if the separation goes as well as possible the children’s’ lives are still going to be a lot more complicated than children living in intact families.
When separations become acrimonious the focus almost always is on the inability of the parents to get along. What gets lost is how much this negatively impacts the children. For the benefit of the children, once they separate parents have to develop amicable working partnerships. If they do not, everyone gets stuck and is unable to move past the pain of the separation.
While the separation itself is traumatic, in doing what is best for the children parents give them, and themselves, the chance to grow and evolve into the next stages of their lives.