The Importance of Marriage and Fatherhood

An article from Institute for Family Studies came to my inbox via the Responsible Fatherhood Roundtable List Serve. The article was “Progressives Are Starting To Come Around on the Importance of Marriage and Fatherhood.

The article did a good job of laying out the growing awareness of the struggles that men and boys are experiencing at a growing rate, citing studies that report that higher education is now about 60% female, boys make up 2/3s of the worst performing students in elementary and high schools, 1 in 4 men without college degrees are not employed full time and that men are between 2 and 3 times more likely than women to suffer “deaths of despair” such as death from substance use or suicide.

To quote the authors, “The data show a clear “two-parent advantage” for kids, especially boys.

Obviously, it would be optimal if all parents waited until they were married to have children, and then remained happily, or some version of happily” married throughout the entirely of their sons and daughters childhoods.

But, that isn’t the world we live in. 1 out of 3 of children here in America are growing up in separated families. This our reality. As is the reality that while many separated families work things out in a reasonable manner, many do not. Sometimes the father is the problem, sometimes the mother is the problem, and sometimes they share responsibility.

The primary concern is that in these less than idea situations the children get as much as they can from both parents. That they benefit from the love, nurturing and other unique contributions that mothers give to them. And that they benefit from the love, guidance and other unique contributions that fathers give them.

Judges, lawyers, county workers and providers, child welfare providers need to help those separated parents struggling to coparent in a collegial manner, not enable or even support vindictiveness. The standard expectation in any separated family should be that mothers and fathers work together to ensure that their children have ready access to their mother, father and both of their extended families.

If this is our clear end goal, EVERYONE benefits. Obviously, the children, but also the taxpayers and society at large. Please support the Dads’ Resource Center in any way you possibly can as we work to make these expectations the standards for our family courts, county and human services systems.

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